When getting mugged by a drag queen makes you want to stay in New York forever… 

Yes, I have crap luck and this actually happened

The day after Santa Con, whilst battling one of the worst hangovers I’ve had since arriving in New York

I went to a drag brunch

I had friends staying and it was their last day and they’d heard about the madness of New York bottomless brunch

So I thought (whilst sober) lets do a drag brunch and then you’ll really see some crazy New York

I then ended up too dead to get more involved than sip water pathetically and question whether $4 frozen margaritas had really been a good idea (it had been)

Whilst I was at the toilet, I heard the drag queen say something about how they can always get away with conning people

I thought this sounded a little mean

When I got back to the table, Lucy said “she took $20 out your purse” whilst pointing

Assuming she meant Kyna, I said it was fine

She looked confused by my calm reaction

No, she meant the drag queen had gone into my purse and taken her tip

Angry New Yorker mode kicked in full

I demanded my money back

To be confronted with the music going off, the guilt trip, and being told “nobody has ever asked for a tip back”

“I never gave you it in the first place, so give me it”

Eventually, when shaking with nerves and nearly in tears, either the effect of the hangover or the anger, I’m still not sure

I got my money

And a hug

And an ass grab

Oh New York, you fucked up city that I never want to leave

Where else am I gonna get ridiculous stories like this?

The U.K. don’t do bottomless brunch

Never mind men dressed as women singing Adele

And British people are too polite to open your purse and take your money

Hence why my friends didn’t know what to do to stop it and sat dumbfounded

Lessons 

  • Do not get too drunk that you can’t drink water when you have bottomless brunch
  • Do not leave your purse on the table
  • And when you see someone robbing your friend I front of 50 people, slap the bitch
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4 thoughts on “When getting mugged by a drag queen makes you want to stay in New York forever… 

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